I have said it before…but I’ll reiterate that my life is a script. My life as mom, is scripted when it comes to Phoebe. She asks something…I always answer with the same thing. In the summer, this isn’t any different. In fact, it’s multiplied by 100. (or a million – the number is random) Phoebe’s scripted life still gets her up at 6, and ready for bed at 7 pm . The hours in between are filled with those very questions and answers that give her ASD, OCD, and anxiety, what she needs to be ok. As I age, I sometimes think I am going crazy. “Did she just ask me the same question 30 times until I answered the way she expected me to?” In fact, she did. The mere idea of changing the answer can sometimes send her in to a full on tantrum. This I avoid at all costs, but should I? (I don’t know…but I do)
Sameness
Case in point…recently Phoebe asked when she got off the bus…”Mom, what are we having for dinner, and what are we doing tonight.?” So, I replied in my funny- ha, ha, way…”we are eating dirt, and going on a boat ride to Florida.” She stared…I stared. What came next was 2 hours of…”Are we really eating dirt? Are we really going on a boat? I don’t like boats. Are we really eating dirt?” After that…I yelled…”OH MY GOD…I WAS KIDDING!!” And, it hit me…just like it always does. Everything is reality to her. EVERYTHING. You say it, you mean it. Just like the ride at Disney’s Epcot that has Lightening in the beginning. To her, that is REAL lightening…and that means a storm. (which means royal meltdown including calling me every mother f*ing word imaginable)
So, I’ll continue to make her life easier (and let’s be honest…mine too). I’ll answer the questions the way she wants me to, and then I’ll slowly make her expand her life. Little by little I will interject new scenarios, and new ways to deal with things. I’ll keep parenting the ASD as best I can. As best I can- whatever that means. I’ll sit here every evening printing out her schedule for the next day, so that she knows what to expect. (And me too)
So for now…”We are having Chicken for dinner, and we aren’t going anywhere tonight.” And, tomorrow morning…”Yes, you can have a piece of bread and an apple, and take a bath.”
Phoebe ASD World 