I am taking on more and more.  Everyday, I add something on, and say to myself..”it’s fine.”  I have 16 credits this semester.  Way more than I ever would want, but feel as though I need to get done with my certification sooner than later.  I need to get a job doing what I love, and time is not on my side.  So, I’ll take on more and more.  Oh wait…let’s add in the parenting part.  Each day, there are things that I must do as a parent, and then I add on something new.  I add on soccer practice, and soccer games.  I add on homework for Brendan, and help with projects.  “It’s fine.”  (these are things I like) I add on daughter/son and mom time, homework for him, social skills help for her, bathing, brushing teeth, feeding, etc. .  Oh- and homework for me.  Now, let’s add autism.  Each day brings something new, and something different. “IT’S FINE.” I am not really sure what that will be, but I know it when it happens.   I can’t anticipate these things.  It’s like a puzzle (imagine that).  It could be screaming for no reason, picking, no socks, or more socks, and FOOD, FOOD, FOOD!!  The never ending battle with food.

There are days I just want to SCREAM at the newest autism-ness we have started.  I guess I am that eternal optimist hoping that one week she will just be “better” and I’ll be able to say…”Wow, this week was easy!”   “I THINK I am fine.” I hate to say it, but each week seems to be getting harder.  Is it puberty?  Or is it autism, or both?  (I hope its the first)  Or is it me? (Well- that can’t be!)

Somedays, I teeter on the fact that I might go right over that edge if one more thing is added.  Just one.  But, then again…I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine. 🙂 (at least I hope)