It’s upon me again.  It’s birthday time for Phoebe, and each year I think, “I made it through another year.”  I won’t say it’s getting easier with her, but I will say it’s getting to be “normal.”  This year, Phoebe turns 14.  It was fourteen years ago that the chubby- doll faced baby came in to this world.  And, not one day since has been “normal.”  She continues to amaze me with what she can and can’t do.  I wonder what the future may hold for her.  Recently, I read a great blog by another mother of an autistic girl, around Phoebe’s age.  She has many of the same traits Phoebe has, and her mother like myself has asked this same question.  What will happen to these children?  I am not sure of the answer.
     Many people ask me..”what does Phoebe like to do?”  My answer to this is usually, “boss everyone around, and tell people that they like her.” (this to be funny)  But, what does she really  like?  This is hard to say.  She likes to eat.  Alot.  She likes to talk…and talk…and talk…to get me to talk.   She likes clothes, and changing clothes, and watching the Tigers, and the Spartans and telling me “GO BLUE” just to tick me off.  (This makes me laugh)   But, what does she REALLY like to do?  I don’t know.  I wonder if she even knows.  Under layers of anxiety, awkwardness, wonder, and where she is in this universe…there has to be some kind of basic interests. How do I get that out of her?  I have tried to guide her to certain things…and this doesn’t seem to work.  I’ve tried sports, art (of course!), and everything in between.   She loves technology and ipad, ipod, iphone, and iMAC.  She can change settings, and show you have to do something in the blink of an eye.  Half the time I never know it’s my phone ringing because Phoebe has changed the ringtone.  There has to be a way to channel this.  There is something there…I just know it.
     I will start watching closely and see if I can make something of this, because I do want Phoebe to have a future.  A future that involves her doing something she loves. (Other than eating) Don’t we all want that?

Autism shouldn’t take that away from her.

Happy 14th Birthday to my Phoebe.  May you always do what you love. 🙂