It hit me today.  Someone asked about Phoebe and high school.  When I used to answer this, it seemed such a far off concept.  Now, high school looms only 4 months away.   High School?  From the time this child has been in Kindergarten…school has been a challenge.  Initially, it was “She’s ok, she just can’t sit still or focus.”  (I even got…”she can be distracted by the wind”) This led to the initial belief that she had ADHD.  We got her some help, some meds, and she should have been perfect…right?  Well, it just didn’t work that way.  Meds didn’t work long term, and there was just something else about this child that was “different.”

For the first few years at school, Phoebe maintained in a normal classroom with tons of Special Education and resource room help.  As she grew, and went through early puberty…things began to change.  (And by early I mean age 9- her cycle started)  This brought on new challenges that piled on top of the old challenges.  Not a good thing.  We had a diagnoses of ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, and Precocious puberty.  Behaviors (worse than ever before) started to trickle in, and her time in the regular education class ended.  In the 5th grade, she was transferred to an emotionally impaired room that could handle her.  She did pretty well with this situation, but medications to keep puberty away made her gain 100 pounds in nearly a year.  Her eating was out of control and nearly OCD.  She would lose control of her emotions and hit me, or her brother, or break things.  She started waking 4-5 times per night, which still goes on today.  I finally decided near the end of 5th grade to take her off medications and put her on a regulated birth control.  Mind you, none of these decisions were made only by me…Phoebe has seen a Geneticist, Neurologist, Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Pediatric gynecologist, Endocrinologist, Holistic medical doctor, Behavioral Pediatrician, and will see the Henry Ford Autism Team later this month.  (Not to mention the Yale Autism Team in 09)

Phoebe has been in a contained ASD room all throughout Middle School.  She has had 4 teachers in 3 years, and this year has been a hard one.  Near the middle of this year, she went 1/2 time at her middle school, and 1/2 time at school for kids with various special needs.  She gets time with peers, but not nearly as much as she’d like.   I took her off all ADHD meds, as they only exacerbated behavioral problems.  Today, she takes  minimal medications, but we will see what the team at Henry Ford believes.

In 4 short months, she will head off to high school.  Most kids are expected to be more adult in high school, take more responsibility…and be more mature.  I can’t see this happening just yet.  I am still locking the cabinets, and helping her shower and bathe, and dress.  She still asks the same questions she has asked for the last 7 years, and still knows the answers to.  She still wants a list of the days activities, and meals.  She still looks for me after 5 minutes to make sure I haven’t run down the road screaming.  (Hasn’t happened…yet)    Do I expect more?  Yes.  Will it happen?  Maybe.

I certainly hope she can handle a new school, a new teacher and a new schedule.   This won’t be an easy transition for her, or for me.  We will take on the challenge and do what we can.

I won’t ever stop taking on the challenge.  (Neither of us will)

Why would I stop now?