Yes, I read it.  I know the story of the woman who tried to commit suicide, and kill her autistic daughter at the same time.  I’ve actually spoken to her a few times in the past, as she had a lot of information to share.  I will not comment, or judge on what she has done.  I life the life.  I am as a friend said…”one chapter away from that.”  I am not saying there is horrible violence in my house, but I have made it so it isn’t that way. (As best I can)  Can there be violence?  Yes.  Have I been hit?  Yes.  Does it hurt?  In every way.   I put little restraints on my autistic child.  I make her environment as easy on her as possible.  If I challenge that…I usually pay the price.  (and so does my son)   The form of payment for us is usually a major meltdown with breaking things, throwing things, and occasionally hitting.  It hasn’t happened a lot, but it happens.  I hold my breath every day when she leaves for school that she will A) follow the rules, B) not hit or hurt someone, and C) make it through the 8 hour day with no meltdowns or calls to me.  After 10 years of living it, it has become our “normal.”  

I used to spend my time trying to make her be less rigid with schedule, and less anxious about things.  Then I became so overwhelmed, that I just decided to make life easier for all of us.  We schedule our days to the point where I only need to let her know ahead of time if something is different for us, in our daily routine.  This could be soccer practice for my son, a meeting, a babysitter coming, or just an errand needing to be run.  If I don’t, we pay the price.  I live the life.  It’s exhausting as a single parent.  It’s exhausting as a mother.  It’s exhausting as a brother.  Autism is exhausting, and overwhelming.  I can’t even imagine how my daughter feels on a daily basis facing these challenges.

This brings up a whole other issue of what will happen.  What will happen to her when she is grown? WHERE will she go?  I want her to live a full life filled with happiness and without anxst.  But, I seriously doubt this child will ever be able to be on her own.  I can see the writing on the wall with this one.  Where are the homes for adults with autism/PDD-NOS?  They do make it to adulthood and then what?  I’m assuming she will outlive her parents, and then what will happen?  What are we doing as a society to fix this?   The stats are growing each year, and something has to be done.

Yes, I read it.  I can sympathize with her.  I really can.  I live the life.