As the PARENT, there is inherent guilt.  Why does my child lay on the floor and scream?  Why does she pick her skin until she bleeds?  Why does she tell people she’s going to bitch slap them?  (Yes…it’s true)  The list is endless.  I have NO idea why she does these things, and I have slowly learned over the years to not take it personally.  It’s so hard.  I used to think I was a horrible parent.  I really did!!  I thought I must have done something wrong.  I didn’t work, that was it.  I didn’t breast feed her long enough, that was it.  I didn’t give her enough vegetables, or vitamins.  You name it, I felt it.  Finally, as her mother I had to accept that she was different.  She was autistic, bi-polar, PDD-NOS, or whatever you want to call it.  She wasn’t going to do things the way other kids did, and that was a hard thing to swallow.  I wasn’t going to be able to brag about her dance abilities, or her test scores.  (nor would I have a sticker that said anything about my honor student)   I did get used to this.  I won’t say it got easier, but I did/do know what to expect when IEP time comes around.  

I put my faith in her team of teachers, consultants, social workers, therapists, and everyone else involved in her education.  I go with my gut instincts and try to give them anything and everything they can use to help her at school.  We work as a team to provide her with something that works for her. I know what it takes to raise her–so I’m guessing teaching her is quite challenging.  (and thank you for those who do, and try to) Sometimes this whole thing takes some creativity.   

She is quite the unique child.  But aren’t they all? 

Tomorrow is IEP number 21.  Let’s see what we can come up with.