Here’s the question…do you raise a child that’s 14 years-old (with autism/PDD-NOS) like a “typical” 14-year-old, or do you raise her like the 6-year-old she’s more mentally like?  This particular child can do some things that 14-year-olds can.  But, then again there are many things she can’t.  I am finding as time goes on, that this seems to be getting harder and harder to decipher.  I continually expect certain things, and then become frustrated when they don’t happen.  However, sometimes I become completely blown away by the things I didn’t expect, and do happen.  Does that make sense??  I’m exhausted.  Did I mention that?  (Pretty sure most parents are)

I want independence for her, and am forcing myself to try and get her to do these independent type things.  It’s not easy.  It’s a messy messy situation in all aspects of our house.  She has ADHD, and impulse issues.  Her room is messy, her hair is messy, her body can be messy.  I’m beginning to let all this go.  I can’t keep up, and does it really matter?  No.  It doesn’t.  If I were a rich-girl, I would have a maid, a cook, and someone who could help me ALWAYS focus on the important stuff.  What’s important in her life? She needs to socialize, always.  She needs to know how to socialize properly…mostly.  She has to be able to take care of herself…sometimes.  She needs…to be happy.  Ok,  I know…she’s a teenager, and happiness isn’t always on the menu.  How do I know what is autism, what is teenager annoying-ness, and what is general disability?  I don’t…nor will I. (Amazing- reads text message in 10 seconds from across the table.  Annoying- finishes my sentences before I can get them out) I will try and focus on the important stuff.  Happiness, independence, and socialization.

So to answer my own question…I don’t know, and I won’t know.  I will fumble along the way I have been and expect the unexpected.  I’ll be exhausted, and I’ll have some totally frustrating days.  Then that one small step forward will give me uplifting, and hopeful days.

Thank you to all my friends and family who help me,  put up and stand by our “strange” family.