I can’t predict autism, but I can predict my own daughter.  I know when she says or does certain things, that I am going to be limited in what I can do.  I know her cues…and she knows mine.  I can tell by her anxiousness, or by her speech that something may not happen for me.  I can plan 2 months in advance, but if she can’t handle it that day (for whatever reason)…I have to cancel.   This is autism. 

I have learned her limits, and know how to push her towards new goals.  It’s a SLOW process, but I get it now.  She’s about to turn 15-years-old.  I have had 15 years experience learning how to judge what may or may not happen. I am not perfect at it, but I am much better than I used to be.  There have been times I left her with sitters knowing she was anxious, upset, and not ok with me being gone.  And yes, it’s a disaster.   I have learned to slowly ease her in to new things.  A few minutes of success is much better than her screaming, yelling, swearing and whatever else she can do to get me to take her home.  She knows now to tell me that she needs to go.  If we have a list, and a purpose–we can do it.  (It’s a 5-minute trip- but it’s successful)

It only took 15 years, but I sort of get it now.  However, it won’t stay this way.  By the time I finish writing this, it will probably change. 

This is autism.