Today, Phoebe and I attended a fun fair for children and teens with autism. At first, she did her normal thing of wanting to leave right away. She was anxious, and unsure. Anything new, and she’s ready to retreat to something familiar. She wanted to go home. I didn’t press her too much. I asked if she wanted to walk around one-time and then leave. She agreed. We walked, and surveyed the situation. She was quiet. (unusually quiet) Then we saw a few of Phoebes friends, and she perked up slightly. We did a few games, won a few prizes, and then she asked to leave. She was quiet, she was calm. I believe she was comfortable. These people understood Phoebe. These kids, and staff had been trained or told about kids and teens with autism. They were friendly, and not judgmental. It was nice to go somewhere and not feel tense. WE weren’t tense.
The Norm
I try really hard to not feel tense when I am out with Phoebe, but I do believe that sometimes it’s natural. She’s not the normal 17-year-old girl. She isn’t shopping by herself, and driving herself to the store. She’s with me. (ALL THE TIME) Sometimes, her behavior can be unpredictable. I know exactly which stores we can go to, and which we can not. I know how long we can be at those stores before we have to leave. This can avoid major meltdowns. I know just how long she will look for something before her patience is too thin to continue. I know she will NOT shop for clothing, unless it’s easily accessible. She will not search. I have learned to mostly avoid being tense. I have learned these spots. It’s not particularly fun, but I need to keep these kids fed, and clothed…it’s essential. This reigns true in all aspects of our lives. She only has so much patience, and then she needs the familiar spot of her room, and her bed.
For today, she felt calm. She felt at ease. People understood who she was, and what being autistic is like. Today felt…”normal.”
Phoebe ASD World 