While waiting at the University of Michigan Hospital Dentistry clinic a few weeks ago, I looked around at the number of families who were using their services.  All families that seemingly had a child, or adult, with some sort of disability.  I smiled at a few of them, trying to show that I knew some of what they were experiencing.  I began to think about how different my smiles have become over the last 17-20 years.  When you are planning to have a family, or getting to an age where having a child sounds like something you might like to do, you begin to notice families with children.  You notice babies.  You notice toddlers.  You smile.  That smile that says, “Awwww.”  I still do this.  I still see babies and smile that smile.  Then, there were the smiles at the parents of children with disabilities.  If you even smiled at all.  Some people just look away, because they aren’t sure how to deal with something they know nothing about.  You smiled that smile of sorrow.  You felt bad for them, you didn’t know how they could manage.  You thought, “That will never be me.”  For some of you that is indeed true.

Now, as I look around and see so many children with various disabilities, I smile that smile of knowing.  I know what it’s like to have a child with a disability (or disabilities).  I know for a fact that those parents are tired, and dealing with things most people can’t even imagine.  I smile that, “I get it” smile.  In fact, not long ago in a local store, a woman was doing everything she could to keep her son next to her.  He seemed non-verbal.  He was young, about 6.  He turned around and hugged me.  His mom about lost her lunch.  I laughed and said, “THANK-YOU! How are you? Are you shopping?”  His mom smiled.  She smiled that thank-you smile.  I told her that I have a teenage daughter with autism, and it didn’t bother me one bit that he was circling us and flapping (it was a guess that it was autism- I assumed, and she confirmed). She thanked me and talked for a bit, and we entertained him until she got done with her purchase.  She walked away and smiled.

I don’t get every disability by any means.  I do get that as a parent of a child with a disability, every day is a challenge.  For that reason, I smile at the parents.  I smile at the children.  I smile.  I smiled at everyone that day at the University of Michigan, because a smile goes a long way.

Merry Christmas to everyone, and in the spirit of our favorite movie, ELF…

“I LOVE smiling…smiling’s my favorite.”