I am the mother of a special needs child/young adult.  I have been since she was born.  I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again…this life is not for the weak of heart, or for the weak, in general.   To be the parent of a special needs person, you have to be ok with not going to every event, party, dinner outing, sporting event, coffee date, movie, family function, or holiday extravaganza.  The bad by far outweigh the good.  My daughter wants me around.  She feels safe, and comfortable with me in the house.  I am her source of information, and her sense of ease.  Sometimes, when I get home the emotional punishment, from her anxiety, is not worth going to the event.  I have to weigh the pros and cons before going to every single thing.  Some days, it’s worth it for my sanity and other days I just can’t do it.  I can’t live through a day of behaviors and meltdowns (or even nights), after I get home.

Last week, I was gone for 5 days with my mom and my niece in NYC.  Phoebe had an amazing Nanny that came and stayed with her, and her brother.  She was more at ease than usual, and did lots of fun activities to stay busy.  She ate new foods (WHAT?) and helped with chores more than ever.  This was not cheap.  My respite care application had not been approved for overnights, so the cost was on my shoulders.  (Did I mention I am a teacher?)    It was a much needed vacation away from responsibility.  It was eye-opening to see what it’s like to be hanging around a normal 18-year-old.  We saw shows, shopped, ate amazing food and laughed a lot!  It was a nice change, that I am SO thankful for.  Upon my return, I came home to a clean house, and a daughter somewhat excited to see me.  Better yet, we had a decent week this week.  Phoebe continued to go to her favorite daycare, and she did pretty well.  We fell right back in to our routine.  (With just a small behavioral issue today at daycare, because things can’t be perfect!)  I even got to work a few times to get ready for my school year.

I am hoping that these little get aways and mental health moments will be easier for her, and for me.  After being away, I feel rejuvenated (and maybe she does to?).  This past year has been a test of my patience, tenacity, and my general parenting skills.

(2016/2017-Over 30 appointments for Guardianship, Dental work, Healthcare, Community Mental Health Services, Psychiatric care, and Evaluations)

We both need these little breaks.