For the past year, my daughter has had a new caregiver.  I found her on a website, and then hired her as a Community Mental Health Respite worker for Phoebe.  She goes to a local college and is one of the most amazing young ladies we have ever met.  This young woman has made a huge impact on our family.  I did not expect this, or think our lives would change as much as they did.  She has been the one thing Phoebe needed.

Our family sacrifices many things to accommodate Phoebe.  We don’t do many things that could possibly cause more anxiety in her.  We have missed graduation parties, birthday parties, family outings, trips up north, movies, dinners out, parades, football games, soccer games, etc.  Phoebe can’t handle a lot of stimuli at once, and this will often cause her to have large outbursts.  We have tried many times to push her limits, and we pay the price.  It’s just easier to stay home.  It just is.  Getting a sitter is expensive, stressful and sometimes I just don’t want to.  I don’t mind anymore…I know this is what is best.

This was our norm until this past year.  Our caregiver started by treating Phoebe as an equal.  She was her caregiver, her companion, and most importantly, her friend. She began taking her on little outings.  She would take her shopping, or to the Cider Mill.  Phoebe did amazingly well.  I warned her of the outbursts, and there were some.  (this isn’t a movie you know;)  Our caregiver knew how to read the signs of too much for Phoebe, however she was able to push her farther than most.  The outings started become more frequent.  She took Phoebe to dinners, games, zoo trips and even took her to the Special Needs Prom we have here in town.  This awesome caregiver even stayed with Phoebe for almost a week when we took a vacation.  Phoebe LOVED it. (I did get a few calls with tears)  Today, Phoebe and this young lady went to get some school clothes, went to dinner and the local arcade, and then grocery shopping with a list.  They were gone for hours!! (this never happens)

I am so proud of Phoebe for stepping outside her comfort zone and doing these things that can cause such stress.  She is taking little steps to become a more independent young woman.  I thank my caregiver daily for making Phoebe a better person. (even if she says the most inappropriate things ever)

While I know she may never be able to live and do things alone, she is making big strides to becoming an active member of society.

Without me.