There’s no manual for parenthood.  Parents can read books and get advice from other parents, but there is no go-to manual.  There isn’t a manual for parents of special-needs children either.  Each case is so different, it wouldn’t be a good thing anyway.  Our Autism/PDD-NOS and anxiety/Emotional impairment is hard to figure out.  Every step of the way has been a challenge.  You may think I’m being dramatic, but you can ask my other child what it is like (or ask my mother).  It probably gets old that I talk about it a lot, but this is the life I live.   I wish I could write a manual on how to do this for the next family having to deal with it.

This job as special-needs parent is 24/7.  Just when we get used to, and come up with solutions to behaviors, school issues, reward charts, and anxiety…it changes.  This has been going on since 1st grade.  Think of that.  That’s 14+ years of being creative with parenting.   I have used techniques recommended by specialists, therapists, doctors, and everyone else.  Sometimes they work…and sometimes they don’t.  It’s literally exhausting.    Med, behavior, life, school, and woman changes.  I want what is best for Phoebe, and want to see her happy in life.  That is the ONLY thing I want.  I want her to be healthy, and live a life that she loves.  Am I doing that?  I don’t really know, but I’m trying. There’s no manual.

Her teachers, at the post-secondary school, are some of the MOST amazing people on the planet. They do not get enough credit for the work they do.  Her teachers have been so good.  They are creative, hard-working and compassionate.  Not everyone I have come in contact with is that way with Phoebe and I.  They know that a few weeks/months will go by and Phoebe will change-up her behaviors.  They come together, get a plan and try it.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t…but so far, they have kept trying.   I appreciate them so much. They don’t have a manual either.  They have been trained in certain areas, and all else is just them having compassion for my adult child.

This year will bring more changes, more behaviors, and more exhaustion.  I’m pretty sure that will never end.  I’ll continue to try all the techniques I’ve read about, and others have tried.  I’ll listen to advice, and try those things too.  I’ll try to get more funding for more respite help, and I’ll try to figure out her life for the next 20+ years.

I’ll keep plugging along with trial and error, because there is no manual.