Each evening at 11:00 pm, Phoebe surfaces from her room looking very sullen and tired. Usually it’s just to get a drink or stand and stare…but nonetheless it’s EVERY night. I can count on that. In the morning, I am awakened to the sound of Phoebe knocking on my wall at 6:00 am. Sometimes, this time can vary, (5:30 am) but not by much. This is accompanied by the light in the hallway turned on. She asks…”can I have my apple now?” I get up and get her the apple and then she says…”it’s too early to take a bath..right?”, and I reply “no, go ahead.” I lay back down for a few minutes until she comes out and says…”am I going to have to get Brendan up?” That’s my cue to get my butt out of bed and begin the morning. These things are said on a daily basis- so if I seemed confused later about what day it is…you know why.

Once she arrives home off the bus, she says the exact same thing she has said for the last few years…”what are we doing tonight, and what’s for dinner?” Some days I answer a normal answer like…”we are hanging out at home, and having chicken.” Or some days to spice it up I’ll answer “we are running a marathon, and having rat for dinner.” This usually gets a very blank stare, or a crooked smile that says…”SERIOUSLY?” I have to correct myself or this might throw her right over the edge. (not to mention me as well) Then she usually follows up a reply…”I was good today can we go see Riley (her cousin).” I get the question about Riley every day, multiple times a day. I have made the rule that we don’t see her during the week because of school and homework. This seems to keep Phoebe happy until the next time she asks.

Evenings are no different, and sometimes I say to my kids…”LOOK KIDS…BIG BEN, PARLIAMENT.” (reference to European Vacation with Chevy Chase) Phoebe always has a 1/2 sandwich after school with a few pretzels and then throws a fit when she can’t have dinner with us. I have tried every technique known – and she still gets mad as heck when she can’t have 2 dinners. (Ignoring seems to work best.) Then she will go to her room, watch sports, and at 7 pm ask for her medicine so she can go to bed. This part of the evening can change here and there, but the words are almost always the same every night.

There are so many more that I could write, but you get the idea. Life with autism is “GroundHogs Day” over and over again. This morning on her way to the bus Phoebe said..”Mom, if I’m good today can we go see Riley?” and I replied “you’re always good Phoebe, and no we can’t.” She just smiled.