I’m lonely. Phoebe is lonely. I guess that makes autism a lonely disorder. Autism makes it hard to make friends, and have friends. It takes a special child to want to hang out with a child with autism. Phoebe wants nothing more in life than to have friends. Nothing. She wants to know what her friends are doing at all times, and is constantly wondering when we will see her friends. I have attempted to make contact, and kept lines of communication open with her friends, but in 7th grade…this is not easy. Middle school is a difficult time as it is, and then to make time for a friend with autism may even make it more difficult. Most kids are self conscious, growing in strange ways, and have hormonal issues. This is the same for Phoebe…hormonal, self-conscious, and strangely aware of her differences. However, her autism makes it hard to make friends. She doesn’t have the set of social skills to help her in making new friends, or many opportunities to do so.
Loneliness and autism
Do you know what this means? The same goes for me. I have a lot of friends, but rarely see them. I am limited to activities, because of autism. Some might say this is my fault, and to a degree…that is true. It’s just easier. Easier to not deal with a house that is destroyed, because I am out. Easier to not see her face waiting up for me, when I go out in the evening. Easier than closing every drawer she has opened in her room, and every drawer in the bathroom. Easier than hiding anything of value that I don’t want played with, or eaten (for that matter). Easier to not have to explain where I am going, who I am going with, when I will be home, and what things she can or can’t do. I have tried…believe me, and it is just easier to stay home. I pay dearly when I say I’ll be home at 8, and get home at 10. A meltdown usually happens…either that night, or the next day.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my house, and I love my kids, but everyone needs some breaks. (and I take them as they come) I get breaks when the kids go with their dad, and that is usually every other weekend. I take that opportunity to SLEEP, grocery shop, enjoy the silence, and try and see friends. Many people have family time on weekends, and when I have the kids…I have family time. (Constant interaction, following around, want to eat every 5 minutes, autism interaction) I make the best of it, and enjoy it. (well, most of it)
Autism is intense. (and lonely)
Phoebe ASD World 
You are amazing…and not alone. The number of families raising children with Autism continues to rise. It's obvious the love and affection you have for your child even through the frustrations and challenges. I think I understand a little bit because of Hope. And when I feel absolutely at the end of my rope…I say to myself that she is mine for a reason. She is teaching me so much. And then I make plans with friends to go out for drinks. haha! So…call me!
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You aren't alone, but that definitely doesn't mean it's any less lonely. I'm not raising a child with Autism, however I am married to a man on the spectrum. He is just like Phoebe. He's incredibly lonely and although he is 38, he's really just like an 8 year old little boy who wants to play and have friends. His parents didn't understand what he dealt with and his loneliness is killing him. (He was diagnosed at age 35) I guess what I'm trying to say is that helping your daughter at a young age is going to prove beneficial, because she will grow up and want these same things as an adult. The loneliness she experiences doesn't ever really go away.
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