There are days I don’t want to do this. I just don’t. During quarantine, this has become much more prevalent.

I don’t want to get up at 5 am to a daughter who is asking questions…without really caring or knowing that I am still in a deep sleep. I just don’t. (“Mom…can I get my breakfast. Are you getting the dog up? Did Brendan stay up late?”)

I don’t want to answer whether it’s raining or storming today for the 100th time. I just don’t.

I don’t want to argue about why she shouldn’t have a sandwich for every meal, and why it isn’t healthy. I just don’t.

I don’t want to explain that having a snack every hour is not a good idea. I just don’t.

I don’t want to have to remember to lock the fridge and the pantry EVERY time we use it…so that she doesn’t steal enough food for 5 people.

I don’t want to help her in the bathroom, because she just can’t seem to get herself together. I just don’t.

I don’t want to be yelled or hit, because she is anxious or pissed I won’t give her more food.

I don’t want to figure out who will watch her, so that I can have a life. I just don’t.

I don’t want to worry about her teeth, her weight, her school, her life in the future. (All moms know this). I just don’t.

I don’t want to make her clean her room, and then argue for 20 minutes why she should. I just don’t.

I don’t want her to seek attention all the time. (Grab the dog, throw food, yell something bad, say something mean, etc.) I just don’t.

I don’t want to be so exhausted at night that I can barely stay awake. I just don’t.

I don’t want to do it today. I just don’t.

I’ll keep plugging along, like I do every day. But, today….I just don’t.